Righto, mummified has been out trawling the aisles of various stores this week (well, its kinda hard to avoid when you are in charge of the weekly grocery shop). She has also been out and about at the local liquor store, pharmacist (drug store) and pet outlet.
God mummified, this is the dullest, most dreary post you've ever written - do get to the point....
Yes well, my point is that I saw some truly stupid products and wanted to have a good moan about them to you.
OK - automated pet feeder bowl. yes, I understand the concept and that they are practical but this one had a voice recording option. You could leave a message something like " Hey Rover, yeah, sure you look cute and I used to spend lots of time with you - playing, giving you a back rub, that kinda thing - but now I am bored and have decided to leave you for a while. But I know you will be deeply reassured by this trite voice recording and won't feel abandoned in the least. Now eat your dinner ! "
Hummer eau de toilette. Listen, the only Hummer I know anything about are those big army vehicles that Arnie and various rappers feel the need to cruise around town in. "Mmm, Hummer for men - when you are looking for the kind of guy who'd run you down and not even notice your squashed remains".
Last one - citrus flavoured champagne. When you are sooooooo drunk that you don't care what it tastes like anyway.
There was a BBC series a while back called grumpy old men, then grumpy old women. I could star in "grumpy mummies - they're sleep deprived and don't suffer fools gladly - or citrus champagne - be afraid, be very afraid...."
mummified - this should be rectified