Friday, March 17, 2006

Well, would you buy it ? I mean, really

Righto, mummified has been out trawling the aisles of various stores this week (well, its kinda hard to avoid when you are in charge of the weekly grocery shop). She has also been out and about at the local liquor store, pharmacist (drug store) and pet outlet.

God mummified, this is the dullest, most dreary post you've ever written - do get to the point....


Yes well, my point is that I saw some truly stupid products and wanted to have a good moan about them to you.

OK - automated pet feeder bowl. yes, I understand the concept and that they are practical but this one had a voice recording option. You could leave a message something like " Hey Rover, yeah, sure you look cute and I used to spend lots of time with you - playing, giving you a back rub, that kinda thing - but now I am bored and have decided to leave you for a while. But I know you will be deeply reassured by this trite voice recording and won't feel abandoned in the least. Now eat your dinner ! "

Hummer eau de toilette. Listen, the only Hummer I know anything about are those big army vehicles that Arnie and various rappers feel the need to cruise around town in. "Mmm, Hummer for men - when you are looking for the kind of guy who'd run you down and not even notice your squashed remains".

Last one - citrus flavoured champagne. When you are sooooooo drunk that you don't care what it tastes like anyway.

There was a BBC series a while back called grumpy old men, then grumpy old women. I could star in "grumpy mummies - they're sleep deprived and don't suffer fools gladly - or citrus champagne - be afraid, be very afraid...."

mummified - this should be rectified


Tea and Books, etc said...


See, this is why my poor mum buys the groceries... so I don't have to see the aisles and aisles of disgusting and perplexing products out there.

The Phosgene Kid said...

I can remember when you could get a hummer from the girl on the corner for $5. And if you think citrus flavored champagne is bad, you should try citrus flavored beer.

I have a theory that the Orientals who manufacture most of the real crap you see in the stores have come to the conclusion Westerners, especially Americans, will buy anything, hence all the crap in the "As Seen on TV Store".

mummified said...

Tea - you lucky thing - a lovely mom to help with groceries. And PK - my theory is that there is a sucker born every day and that this is the demographic the advertisers are shooting for - especially with the citrus champagne !!!

The Phosgene Kid said...

Off topic, but I really like the Kookabura song. I don't know if you guys really sing that down there or it was another lie my first grade teacher told me. I like Waltzing Matilda too - odd, I thought it was your National Anthem, but apparently not.

Tea and Books, etc said...

I am very lucky, indeed, to have such a wondrous mum. :-)

Glad to see your comments links have come back. Was wondering if you'd been spammed, too. :-O

Fuff said...

Blackcurrant vodka comes to mind. Why? Weeel.. if you want to buy a bottle of the plain stuff, you can add blackcurrant, but what if the dog wants a margherita? Hmm?