Look, I thought Keanu Reeves was cute in that lame Dracula movie with Winona "light fingers" Ryder and Gary what's his name a while back too.
And I have always been a sucker (sorry) for a good vampire flick but the utter agony of having my son's eye teeth (aka pointy little fangs at the top) puncture his gums to come through properly.... well, it was like the night of the undead. Well, if not actually the undead then certainly the "wish I had been dead" - dead to the world and asleep. But no, Mr wailing banshee - aka little fella - was not having any of that nonsense. No way babeee. He was screaming so loudly over a four hour period that I thought the cops were going to break down the door at any minute assuming he was being murdered.
By that point I was in a major panic. Forget the urbane, wise-cracking mummy of yore, I had broken into a sweat thinking he had yet another middle ear infection (stick the pointy end of an old fashioned mathematical compass into your ear and jab as hard as possible to simulate the effect). So a call to the locum who turned up at 2am and pronounced him as having a nasty head cold and possibly teeth coming through. You know, normally I would be embarrassed at having made a fuss and called a doctor out when it didn't turn out to be an actual medical emergency but at that point, I was so wrung out that I just paid the exorbitant fee on my Visa without a peep. I explained that we were going to be flying on a plane the next morning just to check this would be OK.
Nope - not OK. So a trip planned about 5 months ago to visit the rellies (aka relatives) in Western Australia was up in smoke. Not to worry - the nice people at frequent flyer points for Qantas are letting us keep the tickets to use another time. (They were very nice about the 2:30am phone call to cancel).
mummified - quite zombified